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Be Present, Not Perfect


Are you a perfectionist? “I don’t have time to think about myself or take care of my own needs. Everyone else comes first; my kids, my husband, work…even the dog comes before me! I have to keep all the plates spinning; I have to be an amazing mother and wife and be successful at work…I just need to work out how to be perfect”

Sound familiar?

Do you feel you need to be everything for everyone all of the time?  If so, what I am going to ask you to do right now might seem pretty radical…I am going to ask you to stop, take a minute, take a breath and be present. Take a whole minute for yourself, nobody else, just you. In fact, take 2. In fact, make it a whole 5…go on…nobody is looking.

How does it feel? 

I have a revelation for you. You are never going to be perfect!

Yep, there I said it. It’s a fact – you, me, your kids, your husband, your friends, your boss – none of them will ever be perfect, so you may as well give up that idea right now!

Instead, start adopting a new strategy that’s going to serve you well and actually benefit you moving forward.

Let’s try a new strategy 

Being present, rather than being perfect! 

Whilst you are running around at a million miles an hour trying (and failing) to be perfect, you are not living in the moment. You are not being present – you are missing the good stuff, the important stuff, the stuff that matters.

Trust me, I lived life at a million miles an hour for years.

Life is always speaking to you, always guiding you along the right path, towards the stuff that’s right for you (the right job, the right relationship, the right career, the right life).

The trouble is, whilst you are striving to be perfect, you are not listening!

Don’t let your life become one big blur…and certainly don’t wait for something monumental to happen before you decide to take a step back. Don’t wait for something as horrific as a heart attack, a death or an illness before you suddenly realise what life is really all about.

Realise it now, stop trying to be perfect and start being present – today! 

When your body screams at you, stop – I am exhausted, short tempered, anxious, controlling, tired, stressed out, lacking confidence, not sleeping, unable to make decisions, always getting ill – these are all warning signs from your body and soul. Your body is speaking to you, so hear it, then take action.

Start taking care of yourself and allowing your body and mind to rest (that doesn’t mean doing the washing or answering emails in your pj’s when you are supposed to be relaxing and having some family time).

Remember there are only 24 hours in any day, so stop trying to cram in 34 hours – it’s a recipe for disaster.

Here’s a few questions to ask yourself;
  • What’s keeping me running so hard?
  • What do I need to change?
  • How can I better take care of myself, so that I am far more valuable to those important people around me?
  • What do I value, what is it that’s really important to me?
  • Why do I need external validation?
  • What do I need to do in order to love myself unconditionally?
  • What routine or ritual can I incorporate into my daily routine that will ensure I am taking care of myself?
  • How would my life improve if I took 5 minutes each day simply to be present?
  • What/who do I need to eliminate from my life, so that I can have the life I want?
  • Who gives me energy and who drains me?
  • What are my non-negotiable values (my kids, family, meal welfare, the work I do) – most people don’t even know!

Sink deeply into the world, just as it is. ‘Waste’ 5 minutes kicking the leaves with your kids and splashing in puddles, because this is where life is!  Life really isn’t some perfect, imaginary photoshopped dream. Simply be as you are, because this is where the best stuff happens.

Make sure you show up each day and be present in your life, the good stuff is unfolding around us all the time, we just need to stop and see it. We just need to be present.

And remember, you have far more power and authority over your life that you think – you are the boss, you decide what happens next.

I challenge you; ditch trying to be perfect and start being present instead.

Need more inspiration? 

Download my free 4 Step Guide – Live the life you always wanted or contact me and see how Personal Development Coaching can help you be more present and ditch the perfection. Call me or send a text – 07412 384 420 or email me at helenwalker@york-walker.com





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