Dating (gulp…. I’d rather stick needles in my eyes)
This was the response one of my clients had when we spoke about the prospect of dating.
As it’s Halloween this month, I’ve been thinking about the topics that generate the most fear for my coaching clients.
Dating is always in the top 5!
Why is it that dating causes so much fear?
“What if he doesn’t like me”
Is often the first worry that clients tell me they have when even thinking about going a date.
My reply is “what if you don’t like them?”
The thing to remember is, this isn’t an opportunity for you to be judged.
It’s really a meeting to find out if you have something between the two of you that invites more exploration – a second date – that’s it, that’s all it is.
Do they float your boat?
A date is just as much your opportunity to find out if he or she floats your boat, yet we seem to forget that we are also in control of this meeting.
If you build this meeting up to be more than it actually is, then it’s really no wonder that you rock up scared to death. Under that pressure, how on earth can you just be yourself? – You can’t.
The date is doomed from the start. You don’t give the person you a meeting a fair opportunity to meet the real you. Even if they think it’s worth a second date or not, they are really not making that decision based on who you truly are.
It’s a conclusion based on a false sense of you (the nervous, foot in mouth, awkward silence person, over compensating, desperate, on edge, low self-confidence you)
The key to successful dates is confidence and self-belief
All of which you can work on well in advance, so that you show up to your date and present the real you.
At least that way your date has half a chance of succeeding!
Imagine how your life would be right now, if you didn’t fear dating so much?
If you want to start taking action and making dating fun and something you look forward to, get in touch, because I can help you find that special someone.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call me on 07412 384 420
If you don’t take action, nothing will change.