Growing up, my parents always had the best intentions for me. Mine was a typical, hard-working and straight-talking (if a little old-school) Yorkshire family. My dad had always been an ambitious, high-achiever and wanted to see me achieve the same success that he’d had (and much, much more).
I remember one day, we took a day trip to London, the tube was empty, apart from us and a girl in an expensive suit, great shoes and a fierce haircut. She was on the phone, making a work call. It was obvious from the call, that she was calling all the shots…that she was self-assured and confident.
My dad nodded and said, “that will be you one day.” I smiled – proud that he thought that one day, that could be ME.
As I got older the pressure of his expectations began to feel like a lead weight resting on my shoulders. And some days I felt suffocated by it.
Don’t get me wrong, his parenting style came from a place of absolute love. But boy, did he push me and make me work my butt off for his rare words of praise. Heaven forbid I should rest on my laurels and forget, even for one minute, to keep pushing myself!
And so, over the years I got more and more desperate for my dad’s seal of approval. I became a perfectionist – because that was the only way to hit his high standards, right?!
But no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I pushed myself, no matter what I achieved, I never felt proud of myself and my achievements. Without the praise I’d been crying out for growing up, I was left with this nagging feeling that I simply wasn’t good enough.
Ultimately, all my hard work landed me a great job as a recruiter and a brilliant salary. But inside, I still didn’t feel worthy. I looked at everything I had and, instead of waking up every morning feeling upbeat and excited, all I wanted was a high 5 from my dad and that elusive, “great job, kiddo!”.
To my friends and family, looking in from the outside, my early career in recruitment had gone off with a bang. I lived an exotic expat lifestyle, with 5-star travel, designer clothes and 7-course dinners in Michelin Star restaurants.
But it didn’t take long before it started to feel empty.
- I knew I was meant for more but there was always that nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me I wasn’t good enough to achieve my purpose. So I put off finding it in ways you might recognise:
- I convinced myself that I needed more experience and knowledge before I could take action towards starting my own business. (No matter how many courses I took, books I read or podcasts I absorbed, it was never enough)
- I put together business plan after business plan but scrapped them all because they weren’t “perfect”
- I had tons of ideas, but I let self-doubt and fear stop me from taking action on any of them
- I constantly searched for fulfilment, switching jobs, managers, companies and even countries – the perfect job or career had to be out there somewhere, right?
It wasn’t until I found the right coach, who totally got me, (and believe me, it took a fair few misfires to find her!) that I finally learned to believe in myself and my abilities. I understood that I could choose what to make of the self-doubt and limiting beliefs that had been weighing me down and holding me back all those years.
With her support, the fears I’d held onto seemed to drift away, and the negative chatter turned into a muffled whisper that I could ignore more easily. With her support and my own determination to work on my limiting beliefs I turned things around.
So what does life look like now?
- I’ve built a successful and fulfilling coaching business and have the courage to take action every day to reach my goals
- I met the man of my dreams and have the family I always wanted, but never believed I deserved
- I’ve stopped chasing after every shiny new opportunity that comes my way, because I know I’ve found the right path
And now I want the same for you
- If you don’t feel good enough, worthy and lack self-belief.
- If you’re living a life that doesn’t fill you with fire – not because you’re not good enough, but because something inside you is holding you back…
- Or if you’re scared to take your business or career to the next level because you’re worried that you’re not ready, not qualified, not good enough or not worthy…
- Or if you’ve been waiting and waiting for that unattainable moment when everything is just perfect before you can take action…
I KNOW there’s much more out there for you. I know, because I’ve been there.
All it takes is understanding what tools and strategies you need and having a cheerleader rooting for you from the side-lines. With my guidance (and a little bit of tough love), you CAN have the confidence to go after your dreams and make your life, career or business the roaring success you know it’s destined for.
Why not let today be the day you let confidence and your mindset change everything for you?
for those who are prepared to do the work on themselves.